Sure, I was crude, but the thing I don't think she understands is that I don't act that way towards people who DON'T say things like “you have a God-shaped hole in your heart”. I'm not lewd to people who DON'T introduce their sermon by saying “I swear I'm not preaching, but...”. I don't do that to people who say “this is what I believe, what do you believe?”. But to the arrogant stranger who said my heart has a God shaped hole in it, I replied “I have a God-shaped hole in my heart like a lesbian has a dick shaped hole between her legs”.
And yes, that was crude. I'll admit that freely. And this was on Facebook, so it's not like the woman was talking directly to me. I didn't say what I did to offend her, but I didn't refrain in order not to offend her. I figured she'd be offended by what I said, but I don't generally feel obligated to be that considerate to a person who I feel is being disrespectful to others. And I'm sure she didn't intend to offend me either, but I stand by what I said, which I think was an accurate, even clever analogy.
I feel that when an evangelical type engages me in a conversation like that, telling me in such a friendly, personable way that I'm inherently flawed, I have two options. I can either hold my tongue and be polite in the face of their unintentional attacks, or I can be an asshole. Mind you, I don't feel like I'm being an asshole, but they do. And I don't even like being an asshole, but then I'm not the one going around imposing my beliefs on other people. I'm just reacting, defending myself against personal attacks from a person who often times knows nothing about me.
They're just telling me what they believe, and I understand that. And I understand that doing so is important to them. But if I tell them what I believe, my goodness how offensive! I don't even say I think that they as a specific individual are performing the ultimate sin by trying to shirk responsibility for their own sins onto the shoulders of Jesus. I'm not as tacky as they are when they tell me that I, Rhomboid specifically, am a sinner. I say to them that I think Christianity is a fable that manipulates people into feeling guilty for things they can't change, and then bends people to the will of the church by exploiting that guilt. And if that makes me an asshole, I'll wear the crown. But it's one size fits all, and is equally at home atop the head of the Evangelical.
- I find Evangelism to be very offensive.
- But, I don't expect Evangelicals to stop proselytizing.
- I don't demand that they take their programs off the TV or radio.
- I'm polite when they knock on my door and try to convert me.
- I'm nicer than they would be if I knocked on their door and told them in the nicest possible way that their beliefs are flawed, and the truth is that going to church is a waste of time at best and simple brainwashing at worst.
- We heathens need to quit feeling bad about standing up for ourselves.
- We need to feel as comfortable and justified telling them what we believe as they do.
- Being honest is not the same thing as being hateful.
I didn't have to be crude, but I was. She's right about that. But by the same token, she could have just said that her belief in God has made a big difference in her life, but she didn't. She said that everyone needs God in their heart or they'll be forever incomplete. And that's okay too, it's just the hypocrisy that bothers me. Honestly, mostly I just wonder if she understood what I meant about heart and dick holes.
