Have you ever experienced the sensation that you've already experienced the sensation you're currently experiencing? That is to say, have you ever previously experienced the sensation that you're currently experiencing? Before?
This may just be déjà vu – an interesting, harmless little phenomenon no one really seems to understand. But it could also be a symptom of a more serious, highly fatal and Unpatriotic condition known as DEJAVITIS®. The painful swelling of the left nipple and enlargement of the anal opening associated with this condition have also conclusively led to the possible development of AIDS, CANCER, and chronic DEATH.
As we all know, every good American® shares the responsibility to combat Al Qaeda by appearing to be patriotic at all times. Indeed, each and every citizen is expected to do his or her part to defend The Greatest Country in the World® from evildoers. After all, if you're dead, who is going to drive your SUV to display your "Support our Troops" magnets? Who is going to shout "These Colors Don't Run!"? Can you afford to take that risk? Can America®?
Of course, there is no way to irrefutably diagnose DEJAVITIS® – that is, until you die a sudden, otherwise inexplicable death. Fortunately, the caring upper management at RepubliPfizer® has developed an exclusive Preventative Cure® for this horrendous malady. Simply take a Serenetab® tablet once a day for the rest of your life to ensure your Good Health®, with the only side effect being a minor case of kidney failure.
Hopefully, DEJAVITIS® will never suddenly and without warning strike you or your family down like the angry hand of a vengeful god. But if something does happen, will your peace of mind be protected? Can you put a price on your life, or the life of your favorite child? Happily, RepubliPfizer® has taken care of these valuations for you as well. So ask your doctor about Serenetab® today, because after all, how are you going to defend the Greatest Country in the World® against the terrorists if you're dead?
